The Parenting Myth We Need to Drop: Doing It All

Let’s just get this out of the way: no parent is doing it all. Not the mom on Instagram with the perfectly packed bento lunches, not the dad who somehow runs marathons while holding down a full-time job, and certainly not me - sitting here writing this with laundry piled on the couch and my youngest asking for the third snack in an hour.

What I’ve learned raising three kids is that the most valuable thing we can give our children isn’t perfection. It’s PRESENCE.

And presence doesn’t always mean sitting cross-legged on the floor playing with dolls or building Lego towers for hours (though, yes, sometimes that’s what it looks like). Presence means being available enough for your child to know: If I need you, you’ll notice.

Here’s where I think a lot of us get stuck: screens. Our kids’ screens, sure, but also ours. I’m not anti-technology, but I am pro-balance. If I’m honest, some of my crankiest days as a mom are the days we all default to devices. The kids are scrolling or gaming, I’m doomscrolling, and by dinner, everyone’s short-tempered and disconnected. The house is quiet - but not in a peaceful way. It feels empty.

Compare that to the days we ditch the gadgets and do something simple together. A walk around the block. Baking cookies. Playing giant bubbles in the backyard, where someone inevitably spills the whole bucket but everyone ends up laughing anyway. A family board game that inevitably ends with someone storming off (because, let’s be real, someone always storms off). Even with the chaos, there’s laughter, there’s conversation, there’s connection. Those are the days that stick.

And let me tell you: kids don’t care if the activity is Pinterest-worthy. My middle child is just as thrilled with a cardboard box turned spaceship as he is with a new toy. The secret isn’t in the activity - it’s in the ATTENTION.

So here’s my challenge, both for myself and for you: find one small way each day to be fully present. Put the phone down for ten minutes and play giant bubbles in the backyard. Say yes to a messy art project without worrying about the cleanup right away. Sit with them at bedtime and actually listen to the random thoughts that spill out.

Because here’s the thing: we don’t need to be super-parents. We just need to be their parents. And that means showing up - not perfectly, but consistently.

If you’re overwhelmed, start small. One gadget-free dinner this week. One family walk. One silly game. Trust me, your kids won’t remember if the laundry was folded or the kitchen was spotless. They’ll remember how it felt to be with you.

And honestly? So will you.